Hope
I had a blog before this one. Couple of years ago, I used to pen down thoughts, poems and stories from day to day life. Increasingly, it started to veer towards my frustrations as it was outlining a darker phase of my life. I had a lot of support from many bloggers around the world but eventually I took it down because it was getting to me, reading and commenting on and on about the past. It was like I had etched it in cyber space to never let go.
After taking it down, over the past few years I have been re-focusing and training my mind to think positive always. It was always an effort with every day and the space of what comes in between them.But I was largely beginning to get successful.
When I wanted to start blogging again, I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue on the same vein as my personal blog as I didn't want the negativity to spew out on to the readers. Believe me, I am a very positive and strong person inside. But day to day happenings were always hard and unfavourable so I couldn't think of what I wanted to write about. That's when I saw that beauty blogging was taking a shape of it's own online. I had a lot of cosmetics, lots of gifts, lot of experience regarding ingredients and no other topic to write on.
So I started with what I knew best and that resulted in this incarnation which you all see before you.
I kept this space secret for so long and intend to do so for a while longer as those who know me, always will wonder, if not out loud, "What is she doing - "Beauty Blogging?", has it all come down to this girly-looking blog?" Ofcourse, nobody dictates my life and I don't allow comments to get to me. But the truth is peace prevails as of now and I do what I like with love and without interference from people who are constantly judging me with what I wear, how I look or how "girly" I have got. Well, this is me. I like the space I am in right now. It keeps me happy, it's totally me and I respect my journey more than anyone else I know.
About the last post, I slipped. I let my negativity and frustration of not being able to get to my goals spew out into my lovely blog space. I'm sorry I let that happen. I am in no way a negative person and I don't think all of those things now. I have moved on and accepted my levels of strength but I don't intend to stay weak for long. I am just giving my body the rest it requires for now and I just hope that I can get back to super power health like back in the days. Will keep it going strong.
Who knows maybe I should start writing more about health soon enough as I gain more experience with it.
Thank you ALL for the loving kindness and support that you have extended vocally, in the form of comments and all the love and care you keep sharing on me with each day. It has knocked the senses back in to me. It makes me feel good about myself. Your love keeps me going :) I promise not to vent anymore.
On another positive note, isn't it great to be ALIVE :)
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motivation
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4 comments
I loved this post, Coral!.. Its good to know you left your old blog coz it pulled you down in life. It's always good to travel towards positivity!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Naznin. I am trying to bring only positivity in my life because that is who I always am and will be.
DeleteI want you to know that I really understand what you're talking about!
ReplyDeleteYesterday I had one of the worst days in a while... we arrived at our Goa home to find that our neighbour has destroyed some of our things, cut our pipes & broken our window panes, all because she is a very bad, jealous woman. And when I found all that I didn't know what to do- I wanted to cry & scream & do something equally bad to her, all at the same time. I was literally shaking with rage. But then my mom told me just because others are like that doesn't mean we should stoop to their level. I talked about it to a twitter friend & immediately feel better, today I'm already in a happy place.
I'm saying all of this because I aim to keep my blog a happy or positive space, but sometimes when I'm angry or frustrated or hurt I let it out a bit too, because everyone faces problems & being happy ALL THE TIME is a bit unrealistic. Your readers understand & there's no need to apologize! I didn't see your previous post but going to check now.
Glad you're better now & you're so right... it's absolutely wonderful to be alive!
PS- Congrats on win my Zansaar giveaway!
I had a shiver run down my spine when I read what happened to you, it's so terrible!!!!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe how animalistic she has been and your mom is right. but I can totally imagine how enraged and how terribly hurt you must have been feeling. God! Save you from these demons.
How can people get so ugly, Magali. Sometimes we try to keep reasoning it out in our head. But we can only control ourselves and not our external world. We can control it to some extent but beyond a certain level it's totally not in our hands and we have to remain calm and poised. God!
The only thing is time helps to mask the hurt and get on with life.
I am happy that you are feeling positive about it now.
Yes, I can see how happy and positive your blog space is. Every time I go to read your posts, I look at how beautiful and how well written it is and it's so FRESH!!! it's like a breath of fresh air.
Being happy all the time is rather impossible because sometimes the hurt and hatred is not easy to hold within and everything obviously needs a release. hehe Infact, I was thinking of taking down my negative post as it was so much ranting. But I always wanted to keep it real, I didn't want anyone to think that going from unhealthy to fit is going to be easy in any way, because it isn't. Everyday is a hurdle to be passed and so I decided to leave that post as it is. Let it be a mark of my stumbling and then getting back up on my feet again. We all need to see that when we are much farther ahead whenever we get there :)
It just makes the journey more fruitful.
OH MY GOD!!! I Won!?? yaaaaaahoooooo :))) that's a lovely bit of news there, thank you so much, Magali :)