And then there was a Pause
|Copyright: Pic by Coral Crue|
Have you ever felt like you cannot wake up from bed, that you just can't do one more day and you find it ever so hard to pull yourself up and go about your daily routine. Well, I feel like I have reached that pause. And so when I got up from bed and realized I had missed out on several deadlines, I did not freak out. I did not freak out school-style,"Oh my God! Look at the time, what am I going to do, how am I going to......" Yada.Yada.Yada!
I thought, "STOP!!". I had always promised myself, if I hit this kind of a road-block, I will just STOP.
So here I am. I did not shower on waking up, I did not look for my phone, who cares where it is. I really do not want to talk to anyone, I do not want to cook, I will just get by with what I have on me. So I called my stand-by person. We all have that one person, don't we? If you don't, I suggest you get one. They take care of your meals and groceries for that pause of yours. Yes, it's a pause. I am on pause. Life is on pause.
Then comes the squealing voices from the outside, "What about your work?", "What about the classes, weren't you supposed to have gone for the interview today?', "You can still make it to the gym and get that tiny bit of a workout so that your day doesn't go waste"......
So it dawns on you that nobody's really listening to you nor do they care about the pause. All they want is to get something done out of you, squeeze you till what's all worth of you comes out of your soul.
But no can do. I said I've hit a Pause and it's a Pause so wait it out. I won't reply till am done here.
What have I been up to then? I quietly ironed a week's store of clothes, I washed some things I had kept for weeks and weeks. Quietly, therapeutically, there was no hurry. I enjoyed it. I hate ironing but today I was felt like I was in an ironing mood, not because I needed to do it.
I tried out whatever was brought by stand-by person. In terms of food. There was sweet potato fries, there was coffee from the local restaurant nearby. There was some stir fried veggies. And there was some bread. Bread generally clogs up my system. I think I am gluten intolerant and sure well, I did start feeling even more lethargic and dull after eating all of this. I popped in some cod liver oil and B complex, just in case. So I just got out two litres of water and boiled some of my herbs in them and I've decided that I am just going to sip it up, and watch 'Spanglish' on Romedy now. I've always wanted to see that movie. Also, I will try to finish up reading Tuesdays with Morrie. I have just the tiniest bit of it left and am done with it to start a new book.
I think that's quite a lot for a pause day but it will keep me occupied. My energy's been on an all time low and I wish my neighbour friend would come on and spend some time with me. She's the kind that doesn't talk much and I love having around but she never comes out of her house. A very quiet and beautiful soul. I would have liked to have spend some time with her today. Oh well!!
Stand-by person has also got me some sardines since I've gathered the ingredients from around the kitchen to make myself a very simple dinner. I can't do with any more take-out for today.
So have you ever felt like your system's on a total low, like you are going to come down with a flu and your system feels all clogged up. You are not really ill, but you really feel like you could be? What do you do?
Tags: Time alone